Dear University of Colorado,

Please hire Mark Mangino. We here at the South Stands rely on local sports teams to provide us with comedy fodder for our tasteless jokes and snarky blog posts. We feel that Mark Mangino would supply us with more than enough material.

We rarely write about or comment on CU athletics. It's kind of a shame. Hire this guy and all that will change. Rumor has it that the Board of Regents will not support his hiring. Please, beg them to reconsider.

I must be a glutton for punishment. I have been reading the comments section beneath the Jon Emree story over at the Denver Post's web site.

Some commenters there apparently live in an imaginary utopia where the fact that CU is close to hiring an African-American coach is immaterial. "Don't care if he's green a purple", says one dumbass. Yeah, yeah, we get it, whitey. Race shouldn't matter. People need to pull their heads out of their politically-correct asses.

I'm not a college football fan. I never have been a college football fan. In fact, I hate it. I hate the bullshit bowl system. I hate the shadowy world of recruiting and the fact that people pretend that these inflated jocks are students. College football players aren't students and they aren't amateurs. They are hired guns who cheat in school are paid to play. Not all of them, of course, but just any of them good enough to one day play on Sundays are. We all know this - just like we know that Marijuana isn't medicine - but fans of the game turn a blind eye and root, root, root for their favorite school.

The CU Buffs are on the road to health. Interim coach Brian Cabral is undefeated and the kids are all smiles - even the son of the guy who just got canned.

Dan Hawkins got to sit in the stands at Fulsom to see the kids play like they never played for him - even his own kid.

Dan Hawkins has finally been canned as H.C. of the CU Buffs. Better late than never. To say that Hawk's rein was marked by mediocrity is high praise. It's more accurate to state that it sucked. Colorado was a ridiculous 19-39 under 'Hawk. The 35 unanswered points K.U. peeled off in the 4th quarter last Saturday was more than A.D. Mike Bohn could take.

Bohn is promising a sweeping national search for Hawkins' replacement. Meanwhile, 70 year-old former head man, Bill McCartney is jumping up and down screaming "Me, Me, Me!" Bohn will call on him. He doesn't have much choice. It's all about the Benjamins. Millions of them.