Saturday, 10 November 2012 23:03

Seven Things That Suck About ... "Carolina"

Written by
Rate this item
(0 votes)

Denver Sports fans have got it made. We're lucky to live in Colorado. Win or lose, there's no place better. That's why it's easy to find Seven Things That Suck about just about every other place. Why seven? It's our lucky number. Elway's number.

Once a week we will elevate our already mile-high civic pride by picking on some other city.

This week’s victim is Charlotte, NC. "the Queen City", the "Hornets nest of Rebellion".

Read more

tractor-pull

Tractor Pulls

Enormous engines, often several of them, propel these ridiculous smoke-spewing contraptions side-by-side down a muddy track. The idea? To tug the most weight you can as far as you can, to get covered in mud, get drunk and then have sex with your sister.

 nascar-home-1

 NASCAR

The auto-racing equivelant of Tractor Pulls. Charlotte is ground zero for the red-neckiest sport in America. Who says cars should have to turn right?

 redneck

Rednecks

Charlotte might be a modern city, but you don't have to travel too far outside of it before you're in the deep South, where people live by a different set of standards and wear coveralls a lot.

swastic 

Racism

Q) What do you call a city that doen't close it's schools on MLK day and that the NAACP calls one of the most racist in America? A) Charlotte. 

 squirrel ed 1

They eat squirrels

Squirrels are a legitimate part of Southern cuisine, and are commonly eaten in the mountainous parts of the Carolinas. We're not making this up.

Pewter Belt Buckle The Confederacy 

The Confederacy

South Carolina was the first state to seceed from the Union. North Carolina was the last. Regardless, both states were on the losing side of the Civil War and both fought to keep thier slaves.

quit-smoking

Big Tobacco

One reason the Carolinas were involved in fighting to keep slavery legal is that they were growing assloads of tobacco then. They still are. The largest tobacco companies in America call the region home.

 

Leave a comment

Make sure you enter all the required information, indicated by an asterisk (*). HTML code is not allowed.

South Stands Denver on Facebook South Stands Denver on Twitter South Stands Denver on Google+ South Stands Denver on iTunes
Footballguys

RD Fantasy Football 001

Westword Web Awards 2013 Best Blog

Westword Web Awards 2011

Podcasts

  • South Stands Denver Fancast ep 238
    South Stands Denver Fancast ep 238 The first podcast from Trump's America and it's a doozy. Are there some sports talked? Probably. But this episode is a meditation on the state of the country, it's people…
  • South Stands Denver Fancast ep 237
    South Stands Denver Fancast ep 237 A South Stands Trio show with Colin, John and Scott. We get deep into the World Series, the Cubs and what this means for the Rockies.  Eddie Vedder's terrible Cubs…
  • South Stands Denver Fancast ep 236
    South Stands Denver Fancast ep 236 We finally get the main man behind BSN Avalanche, AJ Haefele (@ajhaefele) in the bunker and pick his brain about all thing Avs, what's wrong with Denver media's coverage of…
  • South Stands Denver Fancast ep 235: Live at the Rosedale
    South Stands Denver Fancast ep 235: Live at the Rosedale We brought so much luck to the Broncos that one time we recorded at the Rosedale (formerly Boones) when the team played the Chargers on a Thursday night, we figured…
More Podcasts...
© 2016 South Stands Denver, LLC. All Rights Reserved. Designed By MegaBomb.net