Philip Rivers
This smirking, smug, swarthy son of a bitch is easily the shittiest thing about San Diego. Our collective hatred for Rivers was stoked by his rivalry with Jay Cutler, but even though Cutler has been a Bear for a few years, Denver fans still hate him. It would be hard for us to accept if Rivers were to win it all but we can rest easy knowing that will never happen.
The Padres’ camo unis
The San Diego Padres wear these horrific uniforms as a “salute” to our troops. If we risked our lives for the USA we probably wouldn’t consider a bunch of millionaire baseball players on a shitty team mocking us very flattering at all.
It’s in California
High taxes, an even higher cost of living, choking bureaucracy, constant risk of earth quakes … California sucks. What’s worse is that the assholes who live there think it’s the greatest. Screw them and their perfect climate.
Sea World
San Diego is home to what has become known as the most cruel “zoo” in America, Sea World, where improper confinement of Orcas and other marine animals stir up controversy among PETA types. We could care less what those people think, but, hey, we’re piling on.
According to Will Farrell, It’s named after a whale’s vagina.
Who would want to live in a place like that?
There’s virtually no culture at all there
As one America’s most white bread cities, cultural diversity is not among San Diego’s strong suits. Locals complain that there’s very little to do that’s not catered to the tourist trade.For a place not far from Mexico, San Diego lacks spice.
It’s way, way too hard to make fun of.
Let’s face it. San Diego is pretty close to perfect which made hacking together this article a bit off a challenge. But to hell with those people, anyway. GO BRONCOS!
