Our old friend, Linebacker DJ Williams, has leaked back into the news again - this time for being accused of manipulating manditory urine tests.
John Ingold had the report in today's Denver Post.
What Ingold did not point out in his piece is that Williams is believed to have utilized the most comic of all cheating methods, the now-infamous Whizzinator, a sythetic penis designed to deliver substitute urine in the least detectable manner possible. The device was made famous back in 2005 when Minnesota Vikings running back, Onterrio Smith, was busted using one.
Channel 4's Vic Lombardi tweeted this morning:
"Got on a very good source that DJ was using a wizzinator. Is that how you spell it? Or is it whizzinator? Whatever, he had one".
If there's one thing we know about Vic, there's a 95% chance that his sources are solid.
The urine Willams used in the rubber penis is believed to be "non-human". Testers flagged his sample because: "The profile is not consistent with a normal, healthy male urine specimen.”
In other words, the dude copped some kind on animal piss, loaded it into a bottle (which he later dropped in front of testers) and dispensed it through a rubber dick.
So run out and buy your Son a DJ Williams jersey today, Broncos fan. He is just the kind of guy we all want representing our team and our City.
Wonderful.
Even more of a pisser is the idea that trainer Steve "the Greek" Antonopulos might have been in on the scam.
When Williams was tested in November a tester saw him drop a clear bottle in the locker room and kick it toward his locker. The tester was not allowed to enter the locker room. Williams and Antonopulos returned with a brownish-colored bottle which the tester who testified: "“My only reaction was just that that wasn’t the bottle that I had saw".
Investigators say that: “The evidence is clear that Williams was involved in three separate incidents of attempted substitution of a specimen.”
Clear ... or perhaps tinted yellow.
